There are so many mixed reviews on this topic. Some experts tell you to wait until your children are “curious” or they start asking quesitons. Others, like the two leading health organizations in England, believe that mandatory sex education beginning at age 4 will reduce the rate of abortion and STDs. With my own children, now age 7, we’ve always been very open about the topic. Not exactly forthcoming but not withholding either. We did procure the book, “What’s the Big Secret” several months ago and while I wouldn’t say they’re exactly wrapped, I would tell you that they’re definitely interested and have asked a multitude of questions since we first read it together as a family.
So, I wasn’t at all surprised when a good friend of mine and mom of 3 boys (ages 7, 5 and 16mo) sent me an email this morning that had me on the ground laughing and made a good bid for beginning to clarify some of the details of how babies are made earlier rather than later. BTW, the names have been changed to protect the innocent–I mean really innocent. Out of the mouths of babes…
“Sitting with the kids at breakfast.. Alex is asking all kinds of questions about college etc. And he is asking about having a wife and kids after college…etc. Alex then (out of nowhere) says..”So Mom, I know that the Mom has to have surgery and stuff to get the baby out..but what does the Dad have to do with it? Does he have some sort of surgery too?” “No”..I explain, the Dad doesn’t have any sort of surgery, but actually the Mom couldn’t have a baby without the help of the Dad…..pause….pause…(wait for it)…he’s thinking… “So how does the Dad help out?” I go on to explain that Dads make this stuff called sperm, and the sperm mixes with eggs that are inside Mom and they start to grow a baby…Alex then asks..where is this sperm located..I tell him it comes out of his penis….pause….pause…pause…ok….and then he drops this one.. “So Mom..does the Dad put his penis in his wife’s mouth so she can get the sperm?”
“Well only if Mommy is really drunk …”… (that’s sarcastic btw)
“No, actually the Dad has to put his penis in the Mom’s Vagina..”….Alex is in the bathroom this whole time (on the toilet)…and he yells “EEEWWWW…isn’t there any other way???” Then Jack…without missing a beat..says…well it’s not in the “bagina”…it’s in the Mommy’s “sapphire”…which is what Alex calls girl ‘bits’…of course I do not correct him..because afterall…”Sapphire” is a pretty sweet nickname for a girl’s ‘bits’…
And so goes the first real conversation I have had with my kids about baby making…might have to borrow your graphic..freaky cartoon book…”
It’s really a pretty good book–graphic yes, but it does give all the right, age-appropriate bits of knowledge. However, it doesn’t include anything on Saphires.
Posted on July 7th, 2008 by Sam
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The other day I was talking to a friend of mine who had a “surprise” third baby at 40. Now the word “surprise” and “baby” were never a part of my vocabulary but I acknowledge to those lucky many, this is sometimes the case. The thing about going from 2 to 3 is that it’s not exactly like what my old Microsoft friends would call an “incremental add.” It’s more like a “monumental” add. No longer do you fit snuggly into that booth for 4, or in your super gas efficient Prius, or into the 4 man tent you planned to camp with this summer. The other thing is that there’s no more “zone defense” isn’t that what they call it in sports when you can go 1:1 and block the score. Now you are clearly outnumbered so you need all the tools you can possibly have at the ready.
For long car or airplane trips, we always bring our mini-DVD player or one of our laptops. Whether it’s settling the kids down to take them off to sleepy land or just keeping them busily entertained for an hour, we’ve always relied on it. When we took our children to Spain at the age of 2, I can tell you that having an extra battery was a real bonus! Braincandy, the product line of DVDs, music CDs and puppets that my husband Johnny and I created is better than the average bear for accommodating this end. Because our products targets very young children with visuals and music that are all tailored to combining the online and offline experiences, it really is a perfect fit for summer travel. Braincandy uses the 5 Senses as a platform so that children who watch the content actually are motivated to do many of the activities they see on the screen. The beach visuals encourage children to verbalize what the sand feels like and how the water is cold. These simple exercises and an awareness of the connection children are making with their environment just by placing a little extra attention on these little areas of development make all the difference as they begin to feel joined to the world around them and how they experience it. Summer time really can be learning time as long as you make it fun. Take Braincandy along and help entertain your child on the road. Believe me, you’ll be happy you did! Happy Summer, wherever you are….
Posted on June 24th, 2008 by Sam
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There seems to be a substantial amount of “heat” around the idea of being a mom and founding/running a business lately. The synergies that both of these jobs or what I call our “labor of love” sometimes share can’t be denied. One of my favorite blogs Petit Elefant featured an interview I did with them on this topic. It is a challenging road to pursue but I do believe that if you follow your heart and do what you really believe in–whether that is with regards to work or personal life than you will feel a measure of success. For me, I would feel unfullfilled had I not pursued my dream but also recognize that I have made many sacrifices to enable the dream to live. I hope this interview inspires you to take the risk and follow your dreams…
Posted on June 4th, 2008 by Sam
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The second part in my installment of tips for moms who are also running and growing businesses and families. Is it possible? I believe so, as long as you believe in the concept of “it takes a village.”
The Community: Friends, family, investors, business partners, kid’s teachers—these are some of the people who make up my community. When I think of that word, what comes to mind is support, wisdom, understanding, compassion. These are all things you need when you go into that great big black hole we call “starting a business.” Whenever I need help whether it’s figuring out a problem with our marketing strategy or picking up my kids from school I always have someone to call. That requires effort and maintaining those strong relationships. That sometimes means time away from operating your business and time dedicated to the rest. And every once in a while, you even have a chance to help someone else out. This morning my friend Juli’s husband was having a minor surgery and they were juggling their 3 boys while having to be at the hospital at 8:30 a.m. What a drag for them. She dropped her son off with us at 7:30, he woke up my son (and believe me, we all fight not to have that job,) the three kids had breakfast and a mini-playdate and it was a great morning for everyone. And I got to feel like I was helping someone else out for a change.
My tip: Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. No one is keeping score. Truly whether you’re a mom who is an entrepreneur or a stay at home mom of 4 under 5, everyone needs the support sometime or another. And leave the guilt by the door. That’s something my mother tells me all the time. We will never be as available, as present or as accessible as we’d like to be to our children. So we have to making the absolute most out of the special things and time we share with our kids and not always think about the things we’ve missed. Blaise (my daughter) has a new ritual she’s instituted to make sure she gets her slice of the quality family time pie. She switches off with mommy and daddy every night having a chat with us on the little deck outside of her room before bed. It’s dreamy.
Posted on May 26th, 2008 by Sam
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I was recently interviewed by a reporter for a story she’s doing on what it means to balance motherhood with running a business. She’s looking for “tips” which really made me think hard about a bunch of things I’m dealing with both in my professional and personal life right now. I thought that I’d create something similar on playisthework.com and provide both mine and others ideas on the subject. Great little bite- sized pieces of information that taste sweet and give you some thoughts to chew on. Here’s the first installment.
The Schedule: Johnny (my husband) and I work together which means we really have to “work” (in every sense of the word) together both to get our kids out the door in the morning and to get our products on shelves. Because we have been operating the business since the twins were about 3, it’s really all they’ve ever known and they are Braincandy as much as we are. So in my idea of work/family-life business it’s pretty blended.
My tip: Engage your children early with what you do. They’ll ask amazing questions and will learn what it means to be passionate about work and the entity your building. I am the child of an entrepreneur (retail) as is my husband who grew up on a dairy farm. For both of us it’s instilled a strong sense of wanting to create from scratch and grow a business. If they are engaged, they’re less likely to complain when you can’t make it to a field trip or spend loads of time in the classroom. They understand what you’re working toward and I find with my kids, they tend to give me a little slack.
Posted on May 19th, 2008 by Sam
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I bumped into this little story out of the Witchita Eagle out of Kansas by one of their opinion writers…there’s nothing new here… it’s the same old commentary you’ve seen in other anti-media commentaries. Children should Play More! The only thing different this time is that i decided to post a response or two instead of sitting idle. Below is one of those responses:
Great commments from everybody here! I just love the fact that I’m seeing some realistic parents who haven’t been thwarted by these early child development studies and TV. I’m a media person professionally and sometimes I believe that if you know how to use media, (good media that isn’t necessarily passive in nature which is what gives TV the bad rap it generates in the first place) a child can benefit in ways that other experiences cannot deliver on. I’ve studied media and children for several years now and know first hand that some of the most amazin little lessons have been experienced while engaging a video program together with my twins. I’m not talking flashcards on video here like most of educational programs for young children. I do know that there is a wealth of knowledge to be learned from media and children and that programming is only in it’s infancy. I plan to dive deeper into this world to learn more about how programming can advance to better enable interactivity and an overall more active based learning environment.
This controversy is hardly a black and white, either or issue. TV does not and will not damage your child’s brain like these researchers claim. I just happen to know some of the researchers that have been getting most of the attention from the University of Washington and there is always another side to the story especially when it comes to parenting. Regardless of whether or not their studies have holes in them a parent must and should understand that there are so many factors that can be attributed to a child’s developmental issue. Blaming it on the TV is narrow-minded. Putting your child in front of the TV for several hours a day is also irresponsible. Even if my child was reading for 4-5 hours a day that would begin to worry me. Bottomline: Turn the TV on! Take a different look at the opportunity and sit down with your child and find some new things to talk about with your child while viewing what you think is a good quality educational program. Need a babysitter? Give them some wooden blocks if that makes you feel better.
Posted on May 15th, 2008 by radicule
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