Or the “mummy” club as they’d call it in the UK. Did you ever stop to think how many in your current peer group have kids? Now part of that is natural–your children play with their children etc. but part of it apparently is by design. Somehow the minute I had children I felt like I needed other people in my life who had children as well so that they could relate to what I was going through. Apparently I’m not alone. An article I just read called, “Curse of the Mummy Club” said that modern mothers are under increasing pressure to make new friends, with other mothers.
As I read the article I was struck by how homogenous my friend group has become. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. It’s true that when I first had the twins I joined a PEPs group (Preparation for Early Parenting) but really after delving week after week into the issues of who’s child was sleeping through the night (Allison’s) and who’s wasn’t (mine) I found I had little in common with the other members. And as I and my children grow, I find spending time with my few friends who don’t have children is a necessary escape and a pleasant diversion—especially given that often when I’m with my friends who do have children the conversation focuses squarely on the little ones.
I really adore all my friends—kids or not. They all are smart, motivated, funny women and I’m lucky to have them in my life. But I will admit that the “Baby Ruth in the bath tub” when my kids were 2 was funnier to my mommy friends!
Posted on June 14th, 2005 by Sam
Filed under: Uncategorized, Daily Life, Families
The same applies to fathers, I’m sure. As the father of twin 4 year olds, any conversations about my pride n joy on the basketball court with friends without kids typcially generates a monologue rather than a dialogue. Any response to one of my childrens’ milestones for instance would typically include a “huh,” followed by a nodding of the head and ending with a smile. The monologue would quickly switch gears to…”can you believe who made the 1st round in the NBA draft?”
I’ve learned my lesson however and generally and purposely avoid too much of that pride n joy talk with the friends without kids lot. The diversion suits me fine but sometimes you just need to tell a stranger on the street that my little boy just stopped 5 out of 7 grounders at pee wee baseball camp this week.
But like anyone i try to get the most out of