PlayIsTheWork.com

When we started “PlayIsTheWork.com” the idea was to continue the conversations that we as parents had been having with so many of our friends. The topics mainly centered in one area–the culture in which we are raising our children. And while our way of life, family units, society has changed over the past 25 years, many of the issues are decidedly the same although the pendulum does swing from decade to decade. It was inspired by the idea that “play is the work of children” a theory that I think transcends decades.

In the 80’s when so many moms were going back to work, having careers, and frankly beginning to rise in the corporate world just as fast as men, we moms felt decidedly “guilty.” Guilty for not spending more time with our children, guilty that our kids weren’t getting the personal attention from us that they needed to succeed, guilty that we didn’t have the bandwidth to take them from soccer to swimming to ballet. So we overcompensated by making sure to cram as much knowledge into them in the short spurts we had. Learning games, flashcards, videos that promised to make our kids smarter. This was the antidote for our overwhelming guilt. We could have it all–smart, successful kids and a career too!

Cresting into the 90’s the trend shifted. More moms and dads staying home raising children full time. So you’d think, “what a great way to assuage my guilt, right?” Unfortunately, all this new trend did was transform into a different kind of guilt, the kind that not only said that you had to make your child smarter but now that our kids had become our “full time” project to be evaluated, they had to be the “smartest.” That also meant making sure they were the best at other things too. Soccer, ballet, swimming and as many play dates as you can cram into the same week! Their success translated to our good parenting. The new guilt was of a more competitive nature—for your child to succeed, others needed to fail. If we put this much pressure on ourselves, imagine what it’s doing to our children?

So here we are in 2005, my children are almost 5 and I’ll admit, like a pendulum, I swing. My type-A nature leads me to keep looking for some sort of insurance policy that I can subscribe to in order to guarantee my kids happy future and success. But as a parent of two incredibly curious, inquisitive children who question and learn everything about their world I know it is incredibly important for me to support their learning in an “emergent” way. What that means is that my daughter may never remember the letter “Q” (although I think we’re close) but she will be able to think about and understand how lightening and thunder happens. Instead of Logan growing up to feel like he has to be “smarter” than his peers, maybe he’ll be the one who will help one of his friends with their math homework. This “back to basics” approach is where I truly hope we can all aspire to be as parents and as a community. It is good to know that there is a certain amount of “reality” being put back into child rearing. That parents understand that it’s not the end of their child’s future to let them watch 30 minutes of TV but they want it to be good, enriching, engaging content—not just something to pacify them for a few minutes. We are becoming more savvy about a lot of things that are “hyped” in our culture.

We chose the phrase, “Worry Less, Play More” to tag this site and every day I post I think about what that means. To me it means that I need to slow down. Enjoy my time with my children. Not worry so much about educational outcomes, future report cards and the WASL. That I need to celebrate all of my children’s accomplishments—big and small. And support the direction that they want to take their lives. I realize they’re young, but this is right around the age that I had dreams of becoming a professional dancer. My parents always supported that dream. And while I’m not in the Joffrey Ballet, I love to watch the company dance. Whatever that dream is for my kids, I hope I’ll find the strength of conviction to support. Passion for what I do, passion for life, passion for learning is what sustains me and has created my successes and I hope I can inspire the same in my children.

Posted on July 7th, 2005 by Sam
Filed under: Uncategorized, Daily Life, Read This!, Families