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In the spirit of “Worry Less, Play More,” I try never to visit the closet in my brain that houses the darkest of all parents’ fears: sexual predators who prey on children. My husband has convinced me that we cannot live our lives as hostages of such awful (but highly unlikely) things happening. My head says he is right, and my heart is much lighter when I trust those around me, and move through life as if the broken people who hurt children do not exist.

There is data behind my husband’s point of view as well: 90% of sex offenses are committed by someone known to the child, not a stranger lurking at the playground. Also, online sex offender databases, while good in theory, mainly serve to give parents nightmares, not to protect kids: despite all of the information we see online about these people, only 8% of treated sex offenders are likely to re-offend.

As I read the latest horrific news about Joseph Duncan, the convicted sexual predator who is accused of abducting and molesting Shasta and Dylan Groene, after stalking and killing three members of their family, the fact that terrifies me most is the impact that these headlines have on all of us. While I am shocked at the apparent inability of our justice system to protect children from people like Duncan, my greater fear is how I clutch at my kids in the grocery store after seeing the headline. When they ask if they can go over to the next aisle ahead of me, I blurt out “No, I need to be able to see you.”

That’s a little crazy. I want my kids to feel safe. We’ve had all the talks you need to have about strangers. I’m crazy to think that there is a sex offender the next aisle over, just waiting for me to follow my kids a little too far behind. I want my kids to be able to ride bikes all afternoon, all over the neighbohood–without parental supervision– the way I grew up. And I don’t want to spend any minute that I can’t see them in a cold sweat.

So, how do we keep the real monsters, as well as those in our minds, at bay? Duncan is a convicted sex offender, who was a candidate for ongoing imprisonment (past the completion of his sentence) and treatment at a special facility for sex offenders in Washington State. This facility exists for people like Duncan, who the state believes are an on-going threat to the community. Why was Duncan released, and not contained at the treatment center? Because he refused to cooperate with the psychologist tasked with evaluating his likelihood of re-offending.

Washington State (where Duncan was imprisoned) has some of the strongest sex-predator laws in the country. Still, I cannot fathom why the state would give convicted sex offenders the right to refuse to cooperate with such a psychological exam. Most sex offenders will never re-commit a sex crime, and should be released once they have served the required time. But, in the rare case of someone like Duncan, release should not be an option until rehabilitation is evident. We need to change the laws to make this so..

Until we do, we will keep waking up to awful headlines where people like Duncan stalk and hurt children. This does tremendous damage to our psyches. It makes us all trust the world and each other a little less. Our kids are the ones who really suffer: how much independence can you possess as an adult when your mother never let you do anything on your own as a child?

Posted on July 22nd, 2005 by Allison
Filed under: Uncategorized, Read This!