Most definitely. But is it genes or environment that shape gender roles? How hard wired are our kids? Are tom boys “born” or “made.”
In a new study, which appears in the July/August issue of Child Development, researchers analyzed the effects of genetic and environmental factors on the gender-role behaviors of a group of nearly 4,000 3- to 4-year-old twins and non-twin sibling pairs. What they found was that girls tend to be more heavily influenced by genetics, while their male counterparts seem to be more impacted by environmental influences such as peer examples.
When we first found out that we were having twins truthfully all we cared about was that they were healthy. But as the weeks progressed we did wish for a boy and a girl. We had heard so many things about the competitive nature of same sex twins and knew that raising twins would be a challenge without that extra baggage. Lucky for us, we got our wish. Turns out there’s enough cmpetitiveness to go around there as well–who knew? We were also determined after they were born not to “sexualize” their gender. We gave Logan dolls and we gave Blaise toy trucks but not so surprising we discovered that 9 times out of 10 they ended up trading. Blaise will still play with trucks occasionally to appease her brother and it’s always amusing when Logan plays dress up in his sister’s tutu’s but truly we find so much of their behavior seemingly “hard wired.”
I do sometimes wonder if Blaise (now almost 5) would be playing more soccer if I didn’t give her that first Barbie or if Logan would have continued in dance class if there was just one more boy in the class. However, I also think it’s important to let children follow their interests and encourage them to pursue them with zeal. For Blaise that is clearly dancing and dress up, for Logan soccer and toy trains. Regardless, of whether or not we influenced those choices they seem to be utterly happy with them. How about your kids?
Posted on July 24th, 2005 by Sam
Filed under: Daily Life, Research
I too am finding the same to be true in our home. Sophie is 5.5 years old (and I dare not forget to mention the 1/2) and Henry is 10 months.
Right from the start Sophie was attracted to anything pink, adorned with sequins, full of rainbows and hearts, or that included fairy wings.
Henry though only 10 months is already exhibiting tremendous differences from Sophie. He uses his commando crawl to get to the wheels of our stroller and is fascinated by how they work. Henry also loves to take apart a toy ark that a friend gave us. Sophie was never (nor is she now) interested in the physical mechanics of things. Sure she asks how things work she just doesn’t seem inclined to go beyond the explanation.
When Sophie was born we imposed a Barbie moratorium in our home, no one was to neither buy one for her, show one to her nor breathe the woman’s name. Around the time Sophie was 2.5 we learned much to our chagrin that we could NOT control everything in her world. Huh?
Therefore we agreed that although we would not purchase any Barbies for her, we would not take them away from her should she receive them from friends/family as birthday, Hanukkah, or Christmas presents.
Sophie has 1 Barbie that a friend gave her for her 4th birthday and she loves her to death. Barbie is discussed in our home openly and Sophie understands that the reason Mommy and Daddy don’t buy her Barbies is that we just don’t think they are what real women represent so we think they’re just silly. For now the politics will hold and this is enough.
I apologize for the diatribe on Barbie…
Back to the question at hand. When I had Sophie I bent over backwards and was committed to providing her with the “non girlie” experiences that I did not have.
Be it clothing, (no pink at first), sports, (Sophie’s 1st sport was soccer at age 1.5) classes, (yoga and organic gardening) — I was all about providing her with a wider experience, one that did not necessarily come covered in lace, lipstick, and tulle. Some may call it poetic justice, others evolution, regardless of what it is Sophie can be seen most days in one her 9 tutus and I love it. She’s all about dress up and I’ve learned to not accept it but to embrace it and ENCOURAGE it. Let’s be honest, the world is lacking in wonder and magic most of the time for us adults. I cherish the fact that I have this amazing power to support and celebrate her ability to infuse her days with the ideas of fairies and magic. I see it as a way of exploring another level of her world.
Kids are kids for only so long, why shouldn’t they feel magical for as long as they can?
My son is 2-1/2 and my daughter is 1. She got all sorts of doll paraphania for her birthday but unfortunately he has not let her near it so we’ll never know if she would have liked it. Maybe someday after he has finished feeding a diapering the baby… but in the meantime, she’s having a great time with the cars he’s left behind.