I’ve been thinking lately about the word, “appropriate” and how hung up I am on the way it’s used–mostly in parenting and education.
The dictionary defines it as:
1. To set apart for a specific use “or”
2. To take possession of or make use of exclusively for oneself, often without permission “or”
3. Especially suitable or compatible
I would guess that most of the time, we parents are using the adjective which refers to item #3. I think the reason I’m hung up on this word is because I think it is so often used inappropriately. Case in point, “developmentally appropriate.” The school my children attend uses this term a lot to help them define the curriculum. They say that the curriculum is “developmentally appropriate” but because the norms of what is “developmentally appropriate” vary so widely isn’t that a very open ended statement without any teeth? “Age appropriate” is one that I found myself using quite a lot when my children were very young. Mostly in the context of making me feel better about potty training! My daughter pretty much trained herself at age 2, whereas her twin was a bit more of a challenge. Even into his late 4’s (so this is pretty recent since he just turned 5) he was still having “little accidents” on the playground at school. I told myself that it was very “age appropriate” for boys not to be fully potty trained by 4 but in reality it was just a way for me to feel better about my ever mounting frustration at the situation.
I know that this sounds like a bit of a rant and in reality, it is. I feel sometimes like the word “appropriate” is used to make us feel better as parents because of the open ended nature of it’s definition, rather than to really help define what is the best place for our children to be whether it’s in their body or mind. Would love to know what others think?
Posted on October 11th, 2005 by Sam
Filed under: Daily Life, Am I Crazy?
Very interesting indeed! I ran up against this when I was writing about banned (or more often ‘challenged’) books a few weeks ago. If you look at my blog, go back to the Captain Underpants entry
A lot of cultural & social differences are defined by our definitions of appropriateness. I’m sure my choices (for myself, my children, etc.) are better than anyone else’s, of course.