Today’s Wall Street Journal is the best proof yet that parenting is rife with trends and gospel that will inevitably morph into new conventions just as semi-permanent. Dr. Ferber, of “Ferberizing”, and Dr. Sears, of “co-sleeping”, are both coming out with more moderate views on how babies, and parents, ought to sleep. It will surprise no veteran of either marathon crying sessions or all-night nursing scenarios that both these methods were in need of a re-think, at least to open the discussion to the idea that some kids aren’t accepting the hands-off approach, and some parents are out of their minds with exhaustion.
So bravo to Dr.s F and S for retaining an open mind and listening, however belatedly, to the parents who are actually on the front lines of these sleep wars.
My two girls have both blessedly passed from attached babies (with a traumatized mom who went literally for years without a good night’s sleep) to excellent sleepers. I am one who gave Ferber a real try, followed his instructions to the letter (as did many of my friends) and found that my gut was telling me that for my nursed-on-demand baby, transitioning to the crib needed to be a lot more gradual.
My pediatrician at the time, Harvey Karp (later of The Happiest Baby on the Block fame), was one of the few people who suggested that I, as Mom, needed to find a way to get some rest. He suggested swaddling. But, as Harvey knew full well, my first baby was perhaps the most colicky on the block. Now she sleeps like a champ and is a normal, sunny ten-year-old. As Harvey told me wryly at her two-year checkup, “Studies show that colic has no measurable affect on children past age two. But for the moms, it takes longer…” We both laughed, me through tears.
Will it surprise you, dear reader, to hear that my second child was a full five years after my first?
Recent moms might be following a different trend, eschewing books and gurus altogether. I know two moms of toddlers who profess to never having read a how-to book at all, either in pregnancy or new parenthood. Their kids, both boys, seem fine, healthy and active. Apparently the babies know what to do, and they can’t even read.
Posted on November 15th, 2005 by MomStar
Filed under: Uncategorized, Daily Life
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.