How could this possibly be?
Here’s the scenario, mom is at the hospital giving birth, dad goes with her and leaves their two other young toddlers at home with the babysitter. Hours later Suffolk County sheriff’s deputies investigating a family court case peered through the window of the home Tuesday and saw Juan Reyes passed out with the children wandering around the house. The article doesn’t give any background on why sheriff’s deputies were there but I’ll make a wild assumption and say that there were issues in that home even before the drunk babysitter was left with the children.
This is one of my biggest fears. A good friend of mine who had recently moved to California was going to an early job interview. She was trying out a new babysitter and was a bit stressed since she pretty much had to run out the door upon her arrival. Except for the fact that when the babysitter arrived at 8:00 that morning she could already smell alcohol on her breath. Needless to say, she didn’t make the job interview. Even when I was a kid, there was a babysitter that used to come and stay with us that my folks were convinced was drunk every time they came home. They smelled it on her breath. So they marked the bottles in the liquor cabinet and low and behold, nothing was gone. They couldn’t figure it out. Until my dad finally came home from work one day and fixed himself a drink (already an unusual occurrence)—the babysitter was smarter than she looked and had refilled the bottles with water. It seems funny now but really what if it was your toddlers at home with open liquor and a drunken babysitter. What if that babysitter had a cigarette and passed out, fire everywhere.
We’ve had very few babysitters in our children’s lives, partly due to the fact that the nanny they had when they were younger is still in our lives and sits for us on occasion. The other couple of sitters we use have been with us for years. We recently hired a new one. She’s a college senior, comes from a good family and is studying early childhood development. What could be more perfect, right? And still when she was sitting for the kids last week I called to check in. When she didn’t answer the phone I got worried. When I called again, she answered and put my fears to rest. But really, how do you know? The most precious beings in our lives and we entrust them to virtual strangers. Are there safeguards? Is there a better set of questions to ask?
Feedback, somebody, please?”
-Baby Sitting Resources
-Hiring Part Time Care
Posted on December 29th, 2005 by Sam
Filed under: Uncategorized
This whole subject is very anxiety-producing. I know for me it goes to the heart of why I don’t work full time. I was raised by au pairs, nannies and sitters. I don’t think there was a big problem with substances with the women who watched me and my siblings, but I do remember how much some of the people who took care of me really didn’t have much concern for my welfare. They worked to their own reasons, few of which intersected with my concerns as a child.
After living in LA for 19 years and seeing an entire subculture of child care-givers making life possible for families there, I know that some professionals truly love the kids they care for. But, that is a lucky accident, probably more likely to happen when the parents are well-off enough to keep a professional sitter comfortable.
Between my two kids, I’ve been a parent at three pre-schools. One thing I’ve noticed is, Americans aren’t willing to pay the people who take care of our precious young ones a really decent wage. I think we lose a lot of the best, most high functioning caretakers because they simply have to look for higher pay. It’s a problem.
We had one former teacher, a young woman of great talent who was like a rock star to the kids at school, who lost her job and eventually her apartment, due to addiction. We still run into her now and again, and each time she is so glad to see her former students. She’s full of love, and she offers to babysit. The moms on the circuit have gently warned each other about this woman. That is one way to be careful in these situations. As for this young woman, her trouble is now obvious in her face, her manner, and the liquor on her breath. She never hurt any kids in her care, thank goodness. But what is so sad is how many kids could have been educated by her, benefited from her very real talents as a teacher. And now they won’t.
I was lucky. Other moms told me that this lovely, skilled woman was no longer sober enough to care for kids. In a world no longer held together by the community previous generations knew, I think we all have to rely on each other and ask nicely of each other, if there’s a problem. Gossip can be ugly, but information is the precious commodity we all need each other to provide.