Having a little girl, a daughter, is something that I always dreamed of when I was a young. When I found out I was having twins I was hoping against hope that one of them would be a girl. Low and behold, mission accomplished. My own precious little angel. While she was only a few days old I pictured mommy/daughter “teas,” lunches and shopping. She was going to be my friend, albeit not for a while. My own mom set a lot of good examples. I had the type of mom who made all my costumes for Halloween (and she didn’t own a sewing machine so I figure that’s real dedication) schlepped me to ballet rehearsal twice a week and had fabulous, creative birthday parties for me.
My 6th birthday stands out amongst all the others. That critical birthday when little girls start kindergarten, begin to feel self conscious and love to do what big girls do.! Up until now, I’d swear that both my kids belonged in a nudist colony but now, suddenly, we have to go into the bathroom at the beach to change into our bathing suit like the big girls. But I digress. The birthday party theme was “Dress up like Mommy.” My friends were to dress up in their mommies best clothes and when they got to my house we all did make over’s–ourselves. We had a big long table filled with every kind of make up you could think of. I remember in particular that Debbie Stern didn’t quite grasp that nail polish was for NAILS and we found ourselves using nail polish remover on her cheeks. It was so much fun and everyone had a blast. We had the birthday table set up with little plastic champagne glasses with sparkling apple juice and a cake with a princess in the middle. So imagine my surprise when I was scouting the mall today for party shoes and stumbled across “Club Libby Lu.” They’ve taken my mom’s concept and created a franchise. It’s a full on pretty princess promenade! As I walked down the aisles of pink sparkly everything and Paris Hilton poodles (ok, hers is a Chihuahua) I was trying to reconcile how I felt about it. Sure it’s all out blatant consumerism on the order of Build a Bear but isn’t it just celebrating “being a girl?!” It’s not that I encourage my daughter to be a girly girl, but she’s always liked tutu’s more than trucks. And she absolutely can’t resist anything with sequins.
So I’m faced with a dilemma. Should I take her? I know she would love it but is it sending the wrong message? Or is it just one of those innocent mommy/daughter things I dreamed about being able to share with her? Please, somebody help!
Posted on August 15th, 2006 by Sam
Filed under: Uncategorized
I am another mother that dreamed, prayed for a daughter. Sophie is 6.5 years old and is a wonderful marriage of girlie-girl and sporty girl.
Commercialism is something that our society revels in. I too share in this mindset at times. However and this is a HUGE however, Club Libby Lu is not only about commercialism. Club Libby Lu is evil in my eyes and furthers the sexualization of little girls.
(yikes if I haven’t offended you please keep reading)
Don’t get me wrong, my daughter Sophie LOVES all things girlie and most days she can be found in some version of a princess costume and is just as sucked in as any little girl that passes by the pink/silver/purple wonder of Club Libby Lu’s storefront.
As the mother of a daughter I believe it’s my right and duty to montior for as long as I realistically can what she comes into contact with and what I reflect our family’s values to be.
Club Libby Lu could be fine if it were just about dressing up, having tea and having fun. It’s not. The amount of make up, hair spray and yes Paris Hilton’esque accoutrements they eagerly adorn little girls with is just gross and offensive. This, to me is indeed a form of sexualization. This is not ok in any way shape or form. I know that one day Sophie will come to me and insist on wearing make up. When this happens I will have new bridges to cross but for now, she knows that places like CLL are not things that “mommy agrees with” and she leaves it at that.
Radical, perhaps. Sensible and thinking for sure!
A great alternative party or mommy-daughter/son day out is Queen Mary’s tea house in Ravenna. We go there on occasion, all dressed up; (sans make up) and enjoy a spot of tea and wonderful treats.
Good Luck Sam!
Well, I gave in to my non-sensible, non-thinking urge to satisfy my 6 year old pop star princess on her 6th birthday. Not with a gagle of girls to the Libby Lu but with Nana and mommy. She arrived and was immediatly impressed by the amount of pink and sparkle. The first thing they did was get her dressed up in super cute, silver pants and shirt and then our darling Libby Lu “councelor” led her to the make up table. As she peered into the heart shaped mirror while Daphne rolled her hair and added pink extentions she was beaming! Her fingernails were painted in pale pink with magic, glitter fairy dust mixed in. Some lip gloss finished her look. She then led us through the “line” where she was able to put together a special perfume potion. Then it got commercial but I have to say, it doesn’t come close to the grossness of “Build a Bear.” It was mostly under control. She got to pick out 5 things–like lip gloss, little pads of butterfly paper, hair ties. The amazing thing was that going through this process she was in her own princess world. She was excited in the same way that she’s always been whether it was her green leotard for her ballet receital “Under the Sea” or playing fairy in the basement. It was over the top but I really don’t believe it was damaging. We spent 5 days in San Francisco and the first night we went out for a three hour dinner. It was special and fancy and the kids loved it but not like she loved getting dressed up like a little pop star. She doesn’t know who Paris is nor will she for a very long time (hopefully not ever) so i’m not sure the influence is the same as if she was 10 or 12. To her it was dress up and be a princess. I thought it was darling. We won’t be going back any time soon–I do want it to remain a special mommy, nana day. But maybe again sometime…
My daughter is a 7 yr old girly girl/athlete. She can wear bows and be a princess but also plays a mean game of soccer and can hold her on with any boy that might bother her. She loves CLL but has only been twice. It is expensive and is only for a rare special occassion. I am the mom and I decide what she can and cannot wear. She has not been put in any skimpy clothes or anything. She gets a fun, movie star hair-do with lots of sparkles and glitter. Usually she has a crown or a microphone depending on what she is pretending to be. She enjoys having the spotlight on her for teh moment and I have no problem with that. I am not teaching her to be a model or a stripper. She is smart and knows that she can be whatever she wants. She is torn between being a mommy with 6 daughters ( not for me but admirable for someone else)or a veterinarian. She figures if she is a mommy that she will also teach school so she can be home with her kids, etc. I think she has a good head on her shoulders for 7 and can see no harm in dress up and glitter. It is expensive, though, and I do not want to teach her to be frivilous, so she gets to go rarely.
KAthy
I really appreciate your post. Obviously I agree. My daugher is 6 and I really don’t think CLL is “secualizing” her in the least. It’s pure, 100% dress up fun. It would probably be different if she was 10 or 12 but I think it’s a clever concept and one that again on special occasions is a great way to spend time. As a matter of fact, my daughter has been going through a bit of a tough phase. She’s fighting a lot with her twin brother and is generally uncooperative which is not her usual behavior. So we’ve started a chart to reward her when she gets 7 smiley faces in a row. Her reward is special time with mommy for the whole day. I’m thinking CLL would be a good one!
I love CCL. I infact am a manager at the Libby Lu in Austin. And I am so glad I have finally found a blog that doesn’t bash my store to the ground. We REALLY do not make the girls look like whores or anything of that nature. The clothes aren’t skimpy, it just shows there belly button. The make-up isn’t bad either. We only have 3 shades of lipgloss and eyeshadow, and if any of the girls have a crazy color lipgloss on it is probably because they made it themselves. I love my job, and I love the little girls that remember who I am and how excited they were/are to have me do there hair and dance with them. It’s a rush for little girls and I am just glad that I have gotten to be apart of it for over a year now.
I am currently a mother of two, one 7 (going on 8 this month) and one that is 5. I have read alot of the blogs on how different toys, libby lu, etc, etc.. influence our little girls to be whores; I was researching for a party at Libby Lu’s because my oldest would like to go there. I would never even imagine the concept of that, when my girls are 5 or 7, why are we ruining their innocence? Did it ever occur to anyone that we ourselves with our negative thoughts are damaging as well? I don’t try to shelter my girls, working in a all male dominated world, I don’t want them to have a culture-shock after they’ve grown up and face the world. Now keep in mind, I do monitor what they do and see, if they see something that arises questions then they ask and I answer as honest as I can for their age/maturity level. My girls are somewhat tom boyish and girly. Should I stress if my daughter doesn’t want to dress like a girl… oh no does that mean she’ll be a lesbian! No, it just means she’s a child who is discovering herself. Now my opinion is if I go to Libby Lu for my daughter’s 8th birthday and as a parent you go and research and I am that nagging parent that remind the girls that pamper them that these are 7-8 years olds and don’t need alot of makeup. That is my job, I’m the one that took them there… so I will monitor what is done. I just think its absurd… that we live in a society where we blame everything in our lives that is negative on some one else and not on ourselves. If one trip to Libby Lu turns my daughters into whores, then there is something wrong with me, not the damn store.
Amen! I was going to blog about this but haven’t had a chance to yet. We did our daughter’s 7th birthday at Libby Lu just a couple of weeks ago. I debated it and then we decided to do it. The twin thing was interesting this year because gender really did play a role. Blaise really wanted to go to Libby Lu and Logan really wanted to go to the batting cage. In a nutshell, I took her and 6 friends (which just FYI, was too many) and they all had an awesome time! They did the movie star hairdo, all came out with JackieO sun glasses and a cute leopard print headbands. It wasn’t sexualizing, it was just pure fun. You’re right, we’re the parents. We set the tone and guide our children. It’s a challenging world for girls and if we can encourage them to be grounded and smart what’s the problem with a little pampering:)
Thanks for writing.
I also am a manager at one of the many club libby lu’s. Our store is not about making little girls look like whore and changing their morals and values. Yes you as the parent have to go and watch what you think is enough. But i ask that you don’t glance at our store and grab your child as fast as you can to run in the opposite direction. I ask that you come in look around and realize that our store was created to show little girls about dressing up and make beleive and that they can do this, it doesnt in any way promote that they should grow up and just be a sexual object. I love my job and it is so rewarding to see a little girls smile after you did her hair. When they come back and remember you, you feel like you made a differance. We are all girls and its just about being who you want to be.