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I’d love to really know what’s driving the current backlash against kids. I grant you that culturally our world has changed. We now take our kids everywhere with us and rarely do we consider whether it’s “appropriate.” I say that because rarely are we out with our children past 7pm any day of the week or do we frequent the nicer establishments in the local Seattle area. Therefore there are very few “inappropriate” places for us to be.

We’re taking a trip to San Francisco next weekend for a wedding and I know we are going to meet our friend for dinner on Friday night. The kids will have had a long travel day and so I asked my friend to make reservations early and at a “kid friendly” restaurant. In other words, why in the world do I want to put myself in the stressful situation of being somewhere with tired potentially cranky children where I have to continually monitor them. I will also confess that we eat out as a family a bit too much so my kids are a bit more conditioned than most about what is “appropriate” behavior. But they’re also almost 6 so I expect more from them. When they were 2 we went out quite a bit but we were much more flexible about leaving when had a blow up (or out.) In fact we got really good at taking it “to go.”  

I was reading this article in MSNBC, “No Brats Allowed” and tried to evaluate in my own mind whether I walk around in my own world devoid of my responsibility to other people’s peace when I’m with my kids. Sometimes maybe but most of the time I’d say I’m pretty aware—most of us are. But it doesn’t help when we find ourselves in one of those situations and get the evil stare down from the person in the seat in front of us. Complaining that children shouldn’t run up and down the aisles of a plane, come one—have you ever been on a plane for 6 hours with two 18 month olds? You try containing them after you’ve been through a DVD, read 6 stores and colored. You may be thinking, “why are you taking them on a plane for 6 hours?” I assure you, it’s the only way for us to see our grandparents who are very reciprocal about their visits here. Sometimes it’s just necessary and there’s no way around it.

I agree with this article that sometimes parents with kids walk around with a sense of entitlement. They believe, “We have just as much right to be here as you do.” As a parent you should use discretion. But come on all of you single gay males, childfree couples, empty nesters, give us a break. Most of us are trying to do a great job and do the right thing—being aware, compassionate and knowing we’re not the only one’s on the planet.

So the next time you’re in a restaurant and you see a mom with a crying baby, instead of scolding her or saying something under you’re breath that she can hear, offer to help. Chances are she wants to get out of there twice as bad as you want her to leave.

Posted on August 20th, 2006 by Sam
Filed under: Uncategorized